


The Merc In The Multiverse

by Jessers09



Category: Deadpool (Comics), Marvel (Comics)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-03
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-29 16:36:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5134865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessers09/pseuds/Jessers09
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You meet your favorite super hero in the flesh.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Merc In The Multiverse

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this is my first attempt at writing fanfic so please let me know what you think! Any feedback is welcome. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Xoxo

It was a typical Wednesday evening, quite uneventful but you were okay with that because the latest issue of _Deadpool_ had come out that day and you'd just got back from the comic store.

You were curled up on the second hand couch in your tiny New York City apartment with the comic open on your lap and a steaming mug of hot cocoa in your hand.

Yeah, life was pretty good.

You were laughing out loud, shaking your head at the merc's outlandish antics when something heavy crashed into your front door.

Letting out a small shriek you leapt off the couch, thankful you'd already drank the cocoa or you'd be wearing it, tossed the unfinished comic on the coffee table and turned toward the door.

Before you could even make your way to the peep hole the door crashed open, slamming hard enough into the wall behind it to leave a crack.

A large man stumbled into your apartment and all you could do was stand there in shock. He was over six feet tall, heavily muscled and clad head to toe in red and black spandex.

 _Great_ , you thought, _I'm going to be robbed by a Deadpool cosplayer... How ironic_.

He looked dammed good though. The super suit was spot on, from the katanas strapped on his back to the pouches lining his utility belt. If you'd seen him at a convention you'd have been impressed, maybe even attracted if those muscles were real and not part of the costume, but as someone who just invaded your home you were less impressed and more terrified.

"Who the hell are you?" He growled, leaning heavily against the wall to the right of the door, cradling one arm to his stomach.

That was when you noticed one arm was barely attached. The flesh and muscle surrounding the devastating wound looked like ground beef, giving you serious thoughts of becoming a vegetarian. Blood ran freely down the forearm of his suit, soaking quickly into the small area rug you had in front of the door.

"Who the hell am I?" You repeated, anger, fear and concern all mixed in your voice. "This is my apartment! Who the hell are you?!"

The stranger slid slowly down the wall, leaving a trail of blood in his wake, to land bonelessly on the floor. Blood loss was obviously taking its toll.

Finally you snapped into action, hurrying to the bathroom for towels in hope of staunching the blood flow and grabbed your cell phone on the way to the kitchen, where the man lay, to call 911.

He eyed you suspiciously as you reached to wrap the towels around his arm, fighting back the increasing urge to vomit.

"Don't waste your time. It'll be good as new soon." He didn't sound at all worried.

"Yeah, sure. I'm calling 911." You pulled out your phone, trying to dial without getting blood on it.

This guy was taking the whole role playing thing way too seriously! Sure, Deadpool would have no problem healing such a grievous wound, he'd suffered a lot worse, but this guy obviously wasn't a fictional character, though he was apparently just as crazy as the merc with a mouth.

He snatched your phone away with his good hand before you could dial. "This isn't Earth-616 is it? I should have known. My apartment is never this clean. Though my TV is way nicer. Is that even HD? How can people still watch standard def these days?"

If a strange man wasn't dying on your kitchen floor you would have laughed. This guy even ran his mouth like the infamous mercenary.

"Dude, come on, staying in character is not worth losing your life." You reached for your phone, trying to get it back, before adding, "Yes, I have HD!"

"Character?" He laughed, a little surprised. "If I was playing I'd pick a way better character. At least one that got more chick's or maybe a talking dog or something. Do you have any tacos? I'm starving. All this regeneration works up an appetite."

He was insane. Certifiable. Looking on the the bright side, having only one arm would probably make the straight jacket more comfortable.

Suddenly he was grinning broadly, you could see it even under the mask. Bleeding to death and smiling about it?? Maybe he was on drugs. Yeah, that would explain it. You'd heard about those people on the news, didn't even feel pain they said.

"Nice shirt." He giggled.

You looked down, too stressed to remember what shirt you'd put on this morning. Oh, that one, of course. It was a red t-shirt with white lettering that read 'this girl loves the D' with a shadowed outline of Deadpool in the center of the D. You resisted a facepalm. Of all days you could have warn that shirt...

"See, better already." The stranger raised his ruined arm and slowly wiggled his fingers. "Not 100% but getting there. Seriously though, tacos, burritos, chimichangas? I'm not even picky right now."

What. The. Actual. Fuck? You'd see his arm with your own two eyes. It was barely attached! No way the muscles had been connected enough for him to actually use his fingers!

That was when you started laughing. A dream. It had to be a dream! That made perfect sense. You must have fallen asleep on the couch in the middle of reading your new comic. Admittedly, you'd had dreams about Deadpool before, though they tended to be a lot sexier than this.

You shrugged. What the hell? Might as well just go with it, you'd wake up soon enough no doubt. Someone was bound to text you eventually.

"I don't have anything here, but there's a Taco Bell just down the street." You offered.

Why not go to the dream fast food chain and get dream Deadpool some dream tacos? Sure, that all seemed perfectly logical.

"Really? You're my favorite person from this universe!" He said earnestly. "I'll have two taco 12 packs, five beef and rice burritos, maybe some nachos? Yeah, nachos. With guacamole! Guacamole is a fun word. Guacamole. Not as funny as spatula though. Spatula. Spatula. Spatula-"

"Focus." You said gently.

"Oh, right, tacos. Tacos, burritos, nachos. That'll do it for now." He reached into a pouch on his utility belt and pulled out a crinkled wad of cash. "Money is the same here."

You took the money and put your boots on, grabbing your coat and keys off the hanger by the ruined door. This was one boring dream. Couldn't there maybe be less carnage and more hot tub time? Hell, he could even wear that little French maid get-up if he wanted...

You shook your head, trying to clear that imagine from your mind. Who needed to focus?

"Make yourself at home." You waved your hand in the general direction of the living room and left, trying to close the broken door behind you as best as you could.

It hadn't taken long to get the Mexican food and get back to your apartment, where, you had to admit you were a little surprised because maybe you were losing your mind, Deadpool was still waiting.

"You really got it bad for me, don't ya sweetheart?"

He was sitting in the middle of your living room, surrounded by a nearly complete collection of Deadpool comics, wearing your Deadpool throw blanket like a cape, and making the Deadpool figures you collected do x-rated things to one another.

You closed your eyes. Maybe it was time to pinch yourself awake? This was the nerdy equivalent of the showing up at school/work naked dream. You could feel your cheeks flushing crimson.

"Hey, no worries. I'd have a thing for me too honestly. I mean, look at this body." He stood, keeping the cape, and motioning to his chiseled abs with his newly healed arm.

This was your favorite super hero? You sighed.

"Ooh! Food! Gimme!" He snatched the two boxes and bag and sat back down on the floor, flipping through his own comics, adding colorful commentary between bites.

You sat on the couch across from him, watching curiously as he ate. The raised masses of scar tissue you'd become so familiar with through the full color pages you'd read over and over were even more fascinating in real life. You thought back to the Hawkeye vs. Deadpool issue where Kate thought Deadpool was wearing Freddy Krueger makeup and supposed his scarring did look a little like that but... hotter?

It was time. This was getting out of hand. You pinched yourself. Hard.

"Ow. That's weird." Still asleep? Shit. What if...

Deadpool looked up, excited. "You hear voices too? Mine are assholes mostly but it's better than being alone all the time I suppose." He shrugged, taking another large bite of burrito.

Forgetting your own momentary pain and confusion you thought of all those heartbreaking scenes you'd read in his comics. His existence was most certainly a lonely one. Sure, he could be a bit annoying, but you could never understand how no one could see through the facade and just give him a chance. If the comics held any truth, because apparently Deadpool was real enough and currently pawing through your movie collection, then he really was trying to be a better person.

"What? You look upset. Shit, I'm sorry. Did you want a taco?" He held out the box, now containing only one taco.

You smiled and shook your head. Honestly, there were way too thoughts running through your mind to worry about food.

"So, how did you end up here anyway?" You asked, deciding to throw caution to the wind and believe that this stranger really was your favorite comic book character in the flesh.

He wiped his mouth on his bloodied sleeve and you had to fight with yourself not to stare at the ruined flesh you so badly wanted to feel beneath your fingers because you knew it would make him uncomfortable.

"Long story. Me. Thanos. An accidental portal to another dimension. You know, the usual." He shrugged. "I should probably be out looking for the way back home, but your apartment is so much nicer than mine. Hey, do you get The Golden Girls here??"

You could swear the white eyes on his mask widened in hopeful anticipation. How the hell did a mask do that? Well, if you were being honest with yourself, it wasn't the strangest thing you'd seen today.

"Yeah. We could probably find it online if you wanted to watch." You pushed the laptop you kept on the coffee table toward him then made your way to the kitchen to fetch him a beer.

"That's it!" He exclaimed, making you jump. "Golden Girls and pretty ladies who bring me beer... I'm never leaving this universe! The Avengers will just have to protect New York without me."

He grabbed the laptop, flopped down heavily on the couch beside you, popped the top of his beer can, and pressed play.

Before you could even process your current circumstances of cuddling on the couch with blood soaked mercenary from another universe, all hell broke loose.

It was then that an alien looking assassin came crashing through your window, sending shards of glass and splinters of wood cascading over your floor.

Before you could even react Deadpool had ditched the computer and tipped your couch backward, using it as a barrier between you and the alien.

"Stay down." He ordered, standing and unsheathing his katanas.

Gone was the adorable, playful man who had made a cape out of your blanket and it his place was the bloodthirsty merc you'd only seen on paper. You had to admit that though you were terrified, you were also kind of turned on. Wait, what the hell was wrong with you?

You crawled quickly to the off kilter door, hurried dressed in your coat and boots, and turned just in time to see the alien's green head, it looked surprisingly feminine, go sailing across your living room in a high arc. Off color blood sprayed your walls as the beheaded corpse fell gracelessly to the floor.

"We should probably find you that portal now."

The merc nodded, stopping briefly to wipe his bloodied swords on your couch cushion before returning them to their scabbards on his back. You cringed, fairly certain no amount of stain stick was getting that out.

"It's not too far from here, which is how I managed to get home before bleeding out. Or at least I thought I was home." He babbled on, no longer in scary merc mode now that the immediate threat had been taken care of.

You gave one last look at your apartment, you sure were gonna miss some of this stuff and the memories you'd made here, before running after the spandex clad hero.

Down this street and that, through this alley and across that lawn, you finally made it to the rooftop Deadpool swore he'd entered your universe on. Heaving for breath, being so obviously reminded that he had super powers you did not, made you start to rethink the decision you'd made only moments ago.

"Yes, here it is." Deadpool reached one gloved hand through a shimmering oval you could barely differentiate from the rest of the air and it disappeared up to his wrist.

"Well, it was nice meeting you, kid. Too bad we don't have more time to get to know each other. You loving the D and all." He wiggled his eyebrows between the mask, glancing down at your shirt once again, eyes lingering on your chest.

Your mouth went suddenly dry and your heartbeat raced. We're you really going to do this? You might never find a way back, if you even wanted one. This was a life changing decision and you were still so young. How could you possibly know what you wanted?

Deadpool took a step forward, so close your bodies were almost touching. Not knowing you were on the verge of a panic attack, he rolled his mask up again, just above his nose, and tilted your head upward with a hand on your chin, giving you a quick but passionate kiss on the mouth.

That was all it took. Time itself seemed to stop. It was just you and your messed up mercenary.

"I'm coming with you."

His body tensed, scarred mouth frowning. "You have a life here and I'm sure you can do a helluva lot better than me."

So quickly the flirty, goofy exterior had crumbled and the self loathing was apparent on the surface. He just needed someone to care, and you did.

You had no siblings, your parents had been gone for years. There were a few close friends that would miss you, and you were sorry you wouldn't be able to say goodbye but this was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

"Dead end job or endless adventures with my favorite super hero? Let me think... " You stared at the sky, tapping your chin in mock deep thought.

"Hero?" He asked quietly. You smiled. "You saved my life just a few minutes ago. And you know I've read all your comics. They're true aren't they? I know you better than most of the people from your world. You're a hero to me."

He returned your smile then grabbed your hand, pulling you toward the portal. "First thing we're doing is finding Spidey so we can show him your shirt. He isn't going to believe it!"

Life would never be the same and that was okay.


End file.
